


Mienai Mono wa Nanimo Naitte (There's nothing you can't see)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Altered Mental States, Jealousy, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Restraints, Stockholm Syndrome, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 06:03:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14688000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He couldn’t hate Yuri for not loving him, and he hadn't been able to hate Yuya because it wasn’t his fault.He had been hurt for a while, and a lot, but in the end he had given up to the fact that wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to make things better.But apparently, Hikaru hadn't reached that same conclusion.





	Mienai Mono wa Nanimo Naitte (There's nothing you can't see)

“Hikaru...”

Yamada didn’t want to look at him.

He didn’t want to look at anything, he just wanted to close his eyes and pray it was going to be over soon.

But he had been doing that for hours, and nothing had changed.

The elder was still there, in Yamada’s room, in his house, sitting on a chair next to the window.

He smoked, absorbed. And Ryosuke thought he wasn’t minding him, that it could’ve been his chance to run.

Then why was he still on that bed?

“I’m sorry, Ryo.” Yaotome whispered, taking a hit off the cigarette and then puffing out the smoke slowly. “But you do realize why I’m doing this, right? Do you understand that we’re the same?”

Yamada breathed in deeply, trying to calm down, but he couldn’t.

He understood what he was saying, but he didn’t fully get it.

That night the elder had arrived to his apartment looking shocked, and he had let him in because he was his friend, because it wasn’t weird for his to be there.

Then Hikaru had started talking about Yuya and Yuri, and Yamada had wondered what was really going through his mind, what had truly led him there.

His pain, after all, was gone already.

He couldn’t hate Yuri for not loving him, and he hadn't been able to hate Yuya because it wasn’t his fault.

He had been hurt for a while, and a lot, but in the end he had given up to the fact that wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to make things better.

But apparently, Hikaru hadn't reached that same conclusion.

He saw him crush the cigarette butt on the windowsill and then get up, getting back to the bed, close to him, so much that Ryosuke shivered.

The elder climbed on the mattress, slowly caressing the naked skin of his chest, almost tenderly.

When he brushed his face, Yamada instinctively leant toward him, trying to bite him, more to hurt him than for a real form of rebellion. He was too tired, after all, to rebel.

Yaotome’s face hardened, and he straddled him to keep him still, bringing a hand to his throat.

“Why can’t you see it, Ryo?” he hissed, a few inches away from his face. “Think about it: you fell in love with Yuri and he’s cheated on you with Yuya. How does that make you feel?” he said, slowly, trying to reason with him.

“I’m not like you, Hikaru. Yuri is...” he took a deep breath, biting down on his lip. “Yuri is happy with Yuya, and I’ve accepted that.”

The elder didn’t seem to appreciate this last statement.

He wanted him to suffer as much as he was, and if Yamada was more rational than he had thought, then he should’ve just taken a different approach.

“I’m sorry, Ryo.” he just said, before moving between his legs.

And Ryosuke knew what was going to happen, and despite knowing he couldn’t help but yelling, begging him, writhing, until the other pushed inside of him.

He screamed.

Now he was suffering. Now that he had hurt him, wounded him, Hikaru looked more satisfied.

He kept moving restlessly, more and more brutal, while the boy under him could only cry, turning his head the other way so that he wasn’t going to be forced to look at him.

And Yaotome let him, until he felt he was getting close.

Then he grabbed his face, turning it so that Yamada’s eyes were fixated on his.

“Look at me, Ryo.” he murmured, and came inside the younger’s body with one last thrust, more violent than the ones before, making an almost animal-like sound.

He stayed still inside of him, collapsing on top of him.

Yamada kept quiet a while longer and then, when he was sure his voice wasn’t going to tremble, he spoke.

“I’m not like you, Hikaru. I managed to accept it, and if you’ve felt abandoned by Yuya I can’t...” he couldn’t finish, because Yaotome quickly pulled out of him, bringing his hand back around his throat.

Ryosuke tried to fight it, but he couldn’t move an inch from those fingers cutting his breath.

“I don’t need to accept it.” he said, low. “I don’t need him, if he doesn’t need me.” he went on, and the younger realized he didn’t seem angry. He seemed, instead, a bit too calm, and it scared him even more. He tightened his hold a little harder, and Yamada could almost feel his blood flow getting slower, while his sight was starting to get blurry. “I can make you happy and you can make me happy, Ryo. We don’t need them.” he added, and if he had been able to move his face’s muscles Yamada would've opened his eyes wide. “Do you want to live, Ryo? Do you want to live with me?” he asked then.

Yamada felt the hand get tighter, and he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

He wished he could’ve had more time to think about the implications of what Hikaru was saying, but he knew he couldn’t afford that.

He blinked twice and in the end he nodded, almost imperceptibly.

But it seemed to be enough for the elder.

He let him go, sitting down next to him and looking at him while he brought a hand to his throat, trying to recover his breath.

Yamada kept his eyes low, starting to ponder about what he had just implicitly promised.

“If you tell someone I’ll kill you, Ryosuke.” Hikaru said then, that calm voice of his, another smile on his face that stayed there the whole time while he got closer and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and slowly caressing his forehead.

“You’ll see, we’re going to be happy together. It doesn’t matter what they want, they have hurt us and nothing else. We’re never going to hurt each other, are we Ryo?” he asked, in a whisper that almost managed to soothe the younger.

And Yamada nodded, still nervous, and after a while he let go to that hug and those caresses, aware that he couldn’t have done otherwise.

He still didn’t know what he had sacrificed.

He just knew his wounds burnt a little less in Hikaru’s embrace.

 

~

 

When Hikaru got back home that night, he found Yamada in the kitchen busy to make ramen.

“Hi, Hikka!” the younger greeted him when he saw him, getting closer and tiptoeing to kiss his lips. “Your timing is impeccable, dinner’s ready.” he added then, bringing the bowls to the table.

Yaotome smiled to him, brushing his hand through the younger’s hair.

“I’ll go change and I’ll be right here.”

He went toward the bedroom, tired.

He and Ryosuke had been together for six months.

Hikaru was happy. He was happy of coming back home and finding someone waiting for him, he was happy to go to sleep at night in a bed that wasn’t empty.

And he was happy of having Ryosuke, and he was sure the other boy was too.

It hadn't been easy to convince him that was the only possible solution, that there was no one else who could’ve taken Yuri’s place in his heart, but in the end he had made it.

Day after day the younger’s smiles had become less artificial and more spontaneous, and then one night he had come back home and he had looked honestly happy.

And he had understood he had won his battle.

Yamada wasn’t looking at Yuri with the same eyes anymore, Hikaru had never seen again shadows on his face, and he was pleased with the result.

During the past months he had kept telling him that Chinen didn’t deserve him, that he was with Yuya and that he didn’t think about him at all, that he would've been there for him from now on, that Yamada would've learnt to love him and together they would've overcome all the suffering that had accompanied them all this time.

With that perseverance, Hikaru had broken the barriers of Yamada’s mind.

Still smiling, he went back to the kitchen and sat at the table.

From time to time he raised his eyes on the younger, smiling at his serene expression.

“I love you, Ryo.”

The other looked at him, chuckling lightly.

“I love you too, Hikka.”

Those were words Hikaru had put there, but they were finally sincere.  

 


End file.
